Being a mom is challenging. Being a single mother is even more challenging. Being a single mother without much of a support system can be overwhelming.
Before I became a mother I had this wonderful image in my head of what motherhood was going to be like. There were going to be blissful evenings with my well behaved child cuddled up to me while watching a movie. My child’s father and I would watch our child play and look each other in the eyes and just gush about the creation God had blessed us with. There were going to be home cooked meals every night for my family. I would be a stay at home mom with a supportive husband and life would be grand.
That is not the reality.
The reality is I ended up in single motherhood without the slightest clue how to raise a child. More often than not we have hot dogs, macaroni and cheese, chicken nuggets or peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner because this is all my picky son will eat. I do cook on occasion and offer my son new things but he is not at all daring in the trying new foods category.
I work 48 hours a week minimum. I wake before dawn, at 4am, six days a week. When I get home from work all I want to do is relax, watch tv, read a magazine. But really I have to suck it up and do dishes, laundry, get some food in my son’s belly, play with his train set (while I put his tracks back together about 389 times a night), make play dough animals, bathe him and get him all snuggly in his bed. When I finally lay down my mind is going a mile a minute thinking of things I need to wrap up for the week. When I finally do fall asleep I am awoken, what seems like minutes later, to a three year old crawling into bed with me.
I have a dedicated babysitter that I am very thankful for, but that is as far as my “support system” goes. Most everyone else in my life shows very little to no interest in being involved in my son’s life. This is sad, but thankfully he has me: his dedicated, loving, beautiful mother…..Oh…sorry. 🙂
My family tend to shy away from me and my son. I don’t know why but I used to try to force it. I would invite myself over or relentlessly try to make plans. My baby needed to get acclimated to the family dynamics. The more I forced the more I got angry at how I seemed to be the only one trying. I stopped trying. You can’t force people to be in your child’s life. All I know is they are the ones missing out. They can stay holed up in their shells and hide from the world but me and my son will be enjoying our lives. With or without them.